It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
