i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
