I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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