just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
