I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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