So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
