If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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