You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
