so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
