Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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