My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
