i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
