Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
