I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
