I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
