You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
