Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
