Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
