i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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