I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
