i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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