I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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