I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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