just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
