I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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