Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
