I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
