Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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