winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
