Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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