im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
