I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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