I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
