Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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