WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
