dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize