Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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