she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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