Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize