It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
