she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
