meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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