It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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