can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
