i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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