Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
