i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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