I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
cat food counts as protein by the way
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
