He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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