I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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