just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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