i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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