I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
