no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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