Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Boobs speak an international language.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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