Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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