Just cropdusted the office
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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