just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
