If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
