This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
