We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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