Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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