My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He felt like a one man threesome
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
