need another drink. this is the easiest way
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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