i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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