I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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