Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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