I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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