This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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