Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
