Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
