if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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