this beer tastes like vomit already
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
