i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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