i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
