i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
