If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
