roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
