the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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