I just cut my nipple shaving
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think people are normalizing furries
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
