I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He felt like a one man threesome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
me + whiskey = a bad person
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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