Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize