They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
