like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
