I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
